Two years ago the analysis of the London Opening Ceremony was a big hit. Heck, it went viral in the Czech Republic and Slovakia. Czechs did not like me calling their outfits the worst. So let’s take a look back at last night’s Parade of Nations in Sochi and determine the best and worst of this year’s crop. With nearly everyone wearing ski jackets and snow pants, it’s a bit tougher to evaluate the Winter games. Still, I gave it my best shot. We’ll get the worst out of the way first.
I hate to do this to the host nation. I think the guy’s outfits are spot on. Some of the best of the night. But the women’s outfits make it look like there is an army of Mrs. Clauses coming to compete.
9. Czech Republic
Sorry Czechs, I had to do it again. In fact, I really liked these at first. They were on the best dressed list. But then I saw a close up and the hats make them look like 18th century judges. I would love it if they had the figure skating judges wear them though.
A lot of people have said Japan’s simplistic choice was one of last night’s big winners. I say why the heck does it look like you just got out of a science lab?
Oh man, I wanted to like these. But then they added a bazillion zippers on the pants. And the metallic silver hats just scream hipster. Plus, why wouldn’t you go with gold?
Is that the Heinz Ketchup delegation? Nope just the Chinese.
5. Cayman Islands
Bold move with the shorts. In fact I loved it until I realized he was wearing flip flops. Fail.
Those black slashes on the jacket make it appear that a rabid dog tried ripping through these. It’s a shame that’s not what really happened.
That is just not a good color combination. And what’s with the random triangles on the jacket? Shame because they made the best dressed list two years ago.
1. Chinese Taipei
I didn’t realize they’d added a choir competition to the event slate.
Germany (First of all these were not designed to make a political statement. Secondly, just too much going on), Iran (at first liked them but then say the cargo pockets), Liechtenstein (did Jackson Pollock make those jackets?)
Pretty basic but get a look at those hats. The flag has been perfectly transposed into hat form and it looks good. Really good.
There’s something ironic about a palm tree on a ski jacket. I could either way on this one but I’m leaning towards best for the fun factor. Plus the flag bearer changed his name to the name of a sponsor that happens to be a German underwear brand.
8. US Virgin Islands
Classic look, perhaps the most formal of the night.
Great mix of modern ski jacket with traditional patterns.
Just a solid look all around. Nice stripes on the jackets, great combo with the scarf and hat.
Fair isle sweaters for the Olympics? Those alone should secure Andorra an honorary gold. Someone must have read the London post because they made the worst dressed that year. Solid improvement.
Loving the ski jacket, Nordic sweater hybrid. The takeaway here is, if you’re going to wear a ski jacket, at least make it interesting.
Duffel coats with some tasteful color blocking. A nice break from the puffy sky jackets.
Cold weather, who cares? This is how you pull off shorts at the Winter Olympics.
Damn France, looking good. Really pains me to say that. Those jackets on the guys remind me of the Brooks Brothers down blazer.
Australia (clean and simple), Ireland (the striping gives off the impression of camo), Lithuania (bright and cheery, unlike the atmosphere around these games so far), Slovenia (nice use of colorblocking), USA (yeah those sweaters look like something an overly patriotic third grade teacher might wear but they’re so close to being perfect)
There you have it. Time to weigh in. Am I right or am I way off base. Am I, like the Czechs pointed out two years ago, “lacking a sense of humor?”